by Florence Ondré
I was musing this morning about how we take everything so seriously and ponder our words and actions, weighing the effects and reactions, thinking along the lines of, ‘what will they think, feel or do?’ or ‘how will this impact my life or the lives of others?’
And then the Robert Green Ingersoll quote, “In the presence of eternity, the mountains are as transient as the clouds,” came into my email box.
I love the serendipitous connections that show up, reminding me that everything is connected and, in this case, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s all small stuff’ remains true. Life’s still best when taken with a grain of salt and a sense of humor to lighten our bad selves up.
These reminders made me smile and, minutes later, I guffawed as my dear Tom tried to reach ever so carefully over the doorsill for the large package of mail which had been held at the post office while we were away, now just delivered. He was serious in trying valiantly and creatively to avoid touching where the exterminator had applied new organic, springtail pest remedy (which smells worse than the chemical poisons. we’re for organic but pew!).
There was Tom, pirouetting one-legged on a green piece of paper some advertiser had left on the porch; working to avoid his feet contacting exterminator slick; arms stretched like lifelines forward to grab the batch of mail which was held together with rubber bands, when it all went awry.
The bands went boing! and mail flew out like a splayed popcorn eruption, splat all over the porch.
I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud and thankfully so did he. We rolled, recognizing the humor of how careful attempts can become another of ’funniest home videos’ and land you like a cartoon character, kerplunk, in the mud anyway.
The whole event reminded me that much of our days’ occurrences are fodder for future comedy routines.
Life laughs at us so why not join in? What are the alternatives? Getting your knickers in a twist; your panties in a bunch? Or a face full of frown furrows?
I’m thinking, ‘I’m getting lines on my face as I go and grow so they might as well be laugh lines.’
Experiences can seem so large and important to us; every situation practically a U.N. decision maker or breaker, only to find months or years later you can barely remember what the big fuss was all about and you laugh to think about how you agonized over it at all when here you are all this time later in such a different space, energy or mind set that makes what loomed large into a tiny grain of sand.
Perhaps you think someone special who hurt your feelings by not even acknowledging your birthday just didn’t give a hoot about you anymore. They know you’re a birthday celebrating fool and here they are M.I.A. on your special day! WTF?
You tuck in, feel unloved, vow to never celebrate them from here on out and nurse that mountain silently and stoically until months later you find a funny card with lots of hand scribbled ‘love you’s’ all over it, buried in some stack of mail which you never opened.
There you go.
There’s your molehill.
Talking with Tom, about the serious turned silly, we laughed about how much time we’d spent over the years worrying and getting bent out of shape about stuff that either never occurred or never wound up being all that and a bag of chips in the long run.
How many arguments have we all gone through and gotten over, past or around and thought, looking back, “What was the big deal? Why couldn’t I have taken a breath, said my piece and let it go or been silent and allowed the universal flow to bring better outcomes than I could imagine into being for the best for all? Why couldn’t I hold onto remembering that we are puny humans on a large revolving and evolving orb in a cosmos within a cosmos or the knowing that even mountains are passing clouds in eternity?”
It is a good thing that, among our attributes, we were blessed with a sense of humor.
What better place to laugh, than at one’s own self as we find our individual and common balances and footholds on our individual Everests?
My sons have grown to be responsible men today with beautiful families full of love and all the challenges and lessons that come with.
I see their children; my grand children (& they are so grand!) happy and laughing; sweet, loving and loveable and I know my boys are doing a good job as parents and as partners of beautiful, strong, creative women.
Their work in the world may vary and they may be serious about providing for and nourishing their families well. Being responsible is a good quality they all have. And I’m hoping they can at the same time, always tap-in to the kids they were in my home, where there were a lot of serious times and challenges, and above the trials and errors of life, remember the silly; the falling down, sidesplitting laughter with each other; giggling over goofs and antics; getting over hurts and slights and going back to the roots of humor as days became years gone by; remembering that love is what lasts beyond seasons and laughter lightens the load.
I hope my sons and their children have the ability to laugh long and often at themselves and life as it impacts the fan of every day living.
Maybe we can all remember that sometimes you get cabbage and sometimes it becomes slaw.
I say throw some pineapple in there. Vary up the meal of the day with the ingredients that show up.
That fan might help produce a new recipe to share.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Friday, June 05, 2009
Quote For The Day
"Underground nuclear testing, defoliation of the rain forests, toxic waste...
Let's put it this way: if the world were a big apartment, we wouldn't get our deposit back."
John Ross
Let's put it this way: if the world were a big apartment, we wouldn't get our deposit back."
John Ross
Monday, March 16, 2009
Quote For The Day & The Gratitude Pool
“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”
Will Rogers
Will Rogers
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
"A Little Goes A Long Way"
By Florence Ondré
This attribute; this commodity; this vaporous substance; ever seeming in short supply could go for big bucks and have a street value higher than pain pills.
This illusive energy flits away like a firefly in July. Now you see it; now you don’t.
Just think of the daily commute; hours in traffic and, no matter how much you know that this is a process and it’s going to take some time to get to your destination, you’re tired; worn thin from the day. You’re looking forward to getting in your domicile, closing the door on the world, taking a nice long shower or tub, eating and dropping into bed. All without other people and their energies crashing in on you like uninvited party guests.
Ahhh, would that all your kindness, compassion and understanding could stay present all the time to keep your basest. grubby, forgetfulness of niceties at bay.
You are, after all really a very nice person. You know it; others have said so and doggone it, people like you.
Having stated the obvious, you might just begin to discern a smidge of foam at the side of your mouth and notice that your jaws are clenched tighter than a noose around a prisoner’s neck at the lynching. Your shoulders have pinned your ears up about an inch and a half at the very least and there are already itsy bitsy trenches between your eyebrows, which are closer than you remember from the morning mirror look-see.
It’s official. You are at the very least…cranky; verging on an slippy slidey path to agitated and irate.
Reasonable has left the building and willingly follows you like a growing shadow that Peter Pan could not possibly fit to your shoe no matter how much fairy dust Tinker Bell sprinkles on.
You’re exhausted and overloaded with whatever giant economy (ha) size big gulp of fear you bought on sale today.
The mere thought of having to wait cheerfully while the world goes to hell in its horrible little handbasket -or ,at the very least, wait without shrieking or seizing someone by the throat as they slow up traffic, make dumb mistakes, cut you off, walk in front of you like you didn’t exist or have the right to take up room on the pavement or give you the finger or a less than kind word is beyond ability.
You, dear soul, have reached your wits end.
And wasn’t that a shorter trip than you ever dreamed it would be?
You have run out of that preciousness called patience.
What could you have been thinking? How did you lose it and where did it disapear along the way?
It’s a stunner, isn’t it, when you think back on the train wrecks which follow the slip this energy gives you?
Even a kind word can send you over the edge into a tantrum.
“What could that dimwit been thinking when she said, ‘Have a nice day’? Did she forget that payroll was short, we didn’t get lunch and now it’s traffic snarls to match my mood in the stretched to over 3 hour commute home! What is she? Some kind of vicious hobgoblin? Nice day, my ass!”
This about one of your favorite colleagues, friends or neighbors.
Well, you might just want to take in a breath, release those shoulders from their perch as fleshy earirngs and remember that everything is gonna take as long as it takes and there’s a divine timing in flow that is bringing things about in ways better than you can imagine.
Might as well, put on some music, notice one good thing, feel the release and a smoother heart rate as you settle into change and, once again, practice patience.
Even one small moment when you have patience counts and when you have it for yourself, you can have it with others and situations over which you probably have minute (if any) control.
Then you could just think on how you didn’t throttle anyone today-even if you thought about it.
That’s gratitude following patience… and self restraint.
As Martin Luther King Jr said, “I may not get there with you……”
Just for today, it’s possible I’m right behind you, flying my crankyflag high until the process brings me that little bit which goes a long way home.
This attribute; this commodity; this vaporous substance; ever seeming in short supply could go for big bucks and have a street value higher than pain pills.
This illusive energy flits away like a firefly in July. Now you see it; now you don’t.
Just think of the daily commute; hours in traffic and, no matter how much you know that this is a process and it’s going to take some time to get to your destination, you’re tired; worn thin from the day. You’re looking forward to getting in your domicile, closing the door on the world, taking a nice long shower or tub, eating and dropping into bed. All without other people and their energies crashing in on you like uninvited party guests.
Ahhh, would that all your kindness, compassion and understanding could stay present all the time to keep your basest. grubby, forgetfulness of niceties at bay.
You are, after all really a very nice person. You know it; others have said so and doggone it, people like you.
Having stated the obvious, you might just begin to discern a smidge of foam at the side of your mouth and notice that your jaws are clenched tighter than a noose around a prisoner’s neck at the lynching. Your shoulders have pinned your ears up about an inch and a half at the very least and there are already itsy bitsy trenches between your eyebrows, which are closer than you remember from the morning mirror look-see.
It’s official. You are at the very least…cranky; verging on an slippy slidey path to agitated and irate.
Reasonable has left the building and willingly follows you like a growing shadow that Peter Pan could not possibly fit to your shoe no matter how much fairy dust Tinker Bell sprinkles on.
You’re exhausted and overloaded with whatever giant economy (ha) size big gulp of fear you bought on sale today.
The mere thought of having to wait cheerfully while the world goes to hell in its horrible little handbasket -or ,at the very least, wait without shrieking or seizing someone by the throat as they slow up traffic, make dumb mistakes, cut you off, walk in front of you like you didn’t exist or have the right to take up room on the pavement or give you the finger or a less than kind word is beyond ability.
You, dear soul, have reached your wits end.
And wasn’t that a shorter trip than you ever dreamed it would be?
You have run out of that preciousness called patience.
What could you have been thinking? How did you lose it and where did it disapear along the way?
It’s a stunner, isn’t it, when you think back on the train wrecks which follow the slip this energy gives you?
Even a kind word can send you over the edge into a tantrum.
“What could that dimwit been thinking when she said, ‘Have a nice day’? Did she forget that payroll was short, we didn’t get lunch and now it’s traffic snarls to match my mood in the stretched to over 3 hour commute home! What is she? Some kind of vicious hobgoblin? Nice day, my ass!”
This about one of your favorite colleagues, friends or neighbors.
Well, you might just want to take in a breath, release those shoulders from their perch as fleshy earirngs and remember that everything is gonna take as long as it takes and there’s a divine timing in flow that is bringing things about in ways better than you can imagine.
Might as well, put on some music, notice one good thing, feel the release and a smoother heart rate as you settle into change and, once again, practice patience.
Even one small moment when you have patience counts and when you have it for yourself, you can have it with others and situations over which you probably have minute (if any) control.
Then you could just think on how you didn’t throttle anyone today-even if you thought about it.
That’s gratitude following patience… and self restraint.
As Martin Luther King Jr said, “I may not get there with you……”
Just for today, it’s possible I’m right behind you, flying my crankyflag high until the process brings me that little bit which goes a long way home.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Quote For The Day
"How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?"
Logan Pearsall Smith, essayist (1865-1946)
Logan Pearsall Smith, essayist (1865-1946)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Quote For The Day
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Steven Wright, comedian
Steven Wright, comedian
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Quote For The Day
“History is a vast early warning system.”
Norman Cousins, editor and author (1915-1990)
Norman Cousins, editor and author (1915-1990)
Friday, March 09, 2007
"Out On A Limb"
by Florence Ondré
Awakening to another day of wild winds, bitter cold and sunshine instead of snow, this March day also brings me sweet chirping in the symphony of branches dancing on my window screens.
Mother Birdsong amps up notch to octave notch, letting the world know that someone has interrupted her lullaby for her little ones. “Tweety tweet tweet,” warble back the Greek chorus of feathered cherubs, as they practice for their own symphonies to come. Rehearsal is necessary for all life’s performances.
I lay in my warm bed, covers keeping me toasty warm as I stretch and lean to peek at the show outside my shade, finding nothing unusual or interesting in the high branches of a yet-to-bud cherry blossom tree but a dark nest looking object which turns out to be, upon closer inspection, a deep, navy blue ball which has lodged in the outstretched limbs between my neighbor’s house and mine. A weird gift from the next door daily children’s chorus of laughter and shreiks; game playing and ball tossing; “Chatter, chatter, chatter.”
Kids- whether in trees, bushes or on the ground; feathered, furred or skinned are practicing something or other that will stand them in good stead as they grow.
I’m just up here on the second floor noticing…and smiling.
Awakening to another day of wild winds, bitter cold and sunshine instead of snow, this March day also brings me sweet chirping in the symphony of branches dancing on my window screens.
Mother Birdsong amps up notch to octave notch, letting the world know that someone has interrupted her lullaby for her little ones. “Tweety tweet tweet,” warble back the Greek chorus of feathered cherubs, as they practice for their own symphonies to come. Rehearsal is necessary for all life’s performances.
I lay in my warm bed, covers keeping me toasty warm as I stretch and lean to peek at the show outside my shade, finding nothing unusual or interesting in the high branches of a yet-to-bud cherry blossom tree but a dark nest looking object which turns out to be, upon closer inspection, a deep, navy blue ball which has lodged in the outstretched limbs between my neighbor’s house and mine. A weird gift from the next door daily children’s chorus of laughter and shreiks; game playing and ball tossing; “Chatter, chatter, chatter.”
Kids- whether in trees, bushes or on the ground; feathered, furred or skinned are practicing something or other that will stand them in good stead as they grow.
I’m just up here on the second floor noticing…and smiling.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Price Of Winter Fun
by Florence Ondré
Extra pain meds per day for those aches which tell you some precipitation is coming- and soon: Pennies
Fines for those overdue library books that couldn't be returned because of the latest snowstorm which took a surprising new approach from the forecaster's prediction: Nickels
Gas use incurred for forgetting half of what was on shopping list and having to go back out in sleet- one more time: Dimes
Parking in the city- if you can find an available one without mountains of black snow in it: Quarters
Running out of toilet tissue- in the middle of a blizzard: A few dollars ---for paper and gas.
Extra food bought and wasted because the weatherperson said there was a blizzard coming and only rain showed up: $20 to $30 plus
Toilet repair needed because the innards kept secretly pumping water into the tank nonstop for months: $300
Sewer bill for the unnoticed extra water flow: $100 -per month
Leaking roof over one room of house: $980
Repair two months after for same leaking roof in the middle of a Nor'easter, plus windows and storm door damages: Thousands
Going outside barefoot in subzero temps, tripping and fracturing one's own foot - on top of years of medical bills for spinal injury and still going strong: Hundreds of thousands
A mountain of Arrgghh! to go with: Pricless!
Extra pain meds per day for those aches which tell you some precipitation is coming- and soon: Pennies
Fines for those overdue library books that couldn't be returned because of the latest snowstorm which took a surprising new approach from the forecaster's prediction: Nickels
Gas use incurred for forgetting half of what was on shopping list and having to go back out in sleet- one more time: Dimes
Parking in the city- if you can find an available one without mountains of black snow in it: Quarters
Running out of toilet tissue- in the middle of a blizzard: A few dollars ---for paper and gas.
Extra food bought and wasted because the weatherperson said there was a blizzard coming and only rain showed up: $20 to $30 plus
Toilet repair needed because the innards kept secretly pumping water into the tank nonstop for months: $300
Sewer bill for the unnoticed extra water flow: $100 -per month
Leaking roof over one room of house: $980
Repair two months after for same leaking roof in the middle of a Nor'easter, plus windows and storm door damages: Thousands
Going outside barefoot in subzero temps, tripping and fracturing one's own foot - on top of years of medical bills for spinal injury and still going strong: Hundreds of thousands
A mountain of Arrgghh! to go with: Pricless!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Quote For The Day
"It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all."
James Thurber, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)
James Thurber, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Life Backwards
This just sent to me by my sister-in-law, Marilyn. Don’t know the author but whoever you are, thanks for the laugh. It’s winter doldrum time and I needed that. Thought I’d put it out here for anyone else who might need a chuckle for the day.
In Light & Love, Florence
*************
Sitting here retired, I finally observed what life is:
I want to live my next life backwards.
You start out dead… and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out… for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement … and collect your pension.
Then when you start work…, you get a gold watch on your first day, or in my case a check.
You work 40 years… until you’re too young to work.
You get ready for High School…. drink alcohol, party, and you’re
generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you
have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then…
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then…
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
In Light & Love, Florence
*************
Sitting here retired, I finally observed what life is:
I want to live my next life backwards.
You start out dead… and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out… for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement … and collect your pension.
Then when you start work…, you get a gold watch on your first day, or in my case a check.
You work 40 years… until you’re too young to work.
You get ready for High School…. drink alcohol, party, and you’re
generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you
have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then…
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then…
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
A Rose By Any Other Name...
by Florence Ondré
"Oh, honey, I heard you making sleepy noises last night. You sounded soooo cute!"
That was my body's gasping for life breath during the night of sleep; also known as the little death.
Isn't it humorous how love can change even the worst gargling sounds into coos; the most unimaginable ralings into adorable traits and the human body's hoots and toots into something to chuckle about?!
Whistles, eeks and squeaks and pit stop rests in between ee aws and lip quavering brrrs are anything but cute folks.
Let's be honest here...it's snoring!
Plain and simple, not too attractive noise that rocks and rolls the house, shakes the bed and rattles your bones!
It's serious stuff. People can stop breathing. You can lose loved ones - from your sleeping quarters and your life. (Isn't there a box under the 'cause' heading you can check nowadays when filing for divorce that says, "Irreconcilable Snoring?")
Can you remember a time when you thought, "Oh, it's not me. It's only the other person who makes those silly sounds?" And now, here you find yourself facing the stone cold, hard truth....It's you!!!!!!!
You've become the in-residence noisemaker.
How could that have happened? You've been dainty all your life and now you are in the buzz saw category without so much as a by-your-leave from the Gods!
Here's what you've come to in life:
The only saving grace is that you have someone who loves you who thinks you're making 'sleepy noises'...and you're cute.
"Oh, honey, I heard you making sleepy noises last night. You sounded soooo cute!"
That was my body's gasping for life breath during the night of sleep; also known as the little death.
Isn't it humorous how love can change even the worst gargling sounds into coos; the most unimaginable ralings into adorable traits and the human body's hoots and toots into something to chuckle about?!
Whistles, eeks and squeaks and pit stop rests in between ee aws and lip quavering brrrs are anything but cute folks.
Let's be honest here...it's snoring!
Plain and simple, not too attractive noise that rocks and rolls the house, shakes the bed and rattles your bones!
It's serious stuff. People can stop breathing. You can lose loved ones - from your sleeping quarters and your life. (Isn't there a box under the 'cause' heading you can check nowadays when filing for divorce that says, "Irreconcilable Snoring?")
Can you remember a time when you thought, "Oh, it's not me. It's only the other person who makes those silly sounds?" And now, here you find yourself facing the stone cold, hard truth....It's you!!!!!!!
You've become the in-residence noisemaker.
How could that have happened? You've been dainty all your life and now you are in the buzz saw category without so much as a by-your-leave from the Gods!
Here's what you've come to in life:
The only saving grace is that you have someone who loves you who thinks you're making 'sleepy noises'...and you're cute.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Quote For The Day
"Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof."
Stephen Leacock, economist and humorist (1869-1944)
Stephen Leacock, economist and humorist (1869-1944)
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
Quote For The Day
"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in
it." -Frank A. Clark, writer (1911- )
it." -Frank A. Clark, writer (1911- )
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