E.T. Phone home...

It's one of those days today.
Fuzzy brained and feeling covered with a big blanket of velour, I know I'm awake yet half of me is asleep somewhere in the cosmos..
What is in retrograde today?
No matter how well I've worded or worked, whatever is done winds up having to be redone.
A red sock finds it's way into a load of carefully sorted whites; buttons pushed to answer phones disconnect instead; in the best of intentions of recycling, checks wind up in the shredder with the envelopes in which they came and books with intriguing titles are begun which seem to have a familiar ring as you delve into the second or third chapter only to find yourself realizing, "My God. I've read this one already!"
Yes. Today was one of those days.
An email sent to me by my friend, Carol, made me think enough to want to share with others.
So, I cut, pasted, eliminated the naggy part at the bottom which usually attempts to guilt you into sending to '10 of your best friends' and threatens with some kind of negative reprisals from the Gods of Bad Luck if you don't. Then I added a personal note, a quote of my own and, after making sure it was all in order, sent with Light & Love.
Minutes later, I get a reply from my friend, Ben, thanking me for the lovely thoughts and discreetly pointing out a small error in my own quote. "I think you meant to type it differently... not sure," writes he ever so lovingly giving me a heads up. He knows I'll go crazy over the mistake if left uncorrected.
I'm a stickler for spelling and live in fear of looking like an uneducated schmuck for 'putting i before e after c,' leaving out any of what should be double letters or writing 'there' when i mean 'their.'
You get the picture.
Perfectionism is one of my challenges in many things and the rules in English class still ring in my head.
Yet, as diligent as I may try to be, electronic components of energy zip in and zap my best efforts, sending out half words crunched together, missing first letters of words and a nice word picture of me as either lunatic, space cadet or unintelligent.
"A writer?" I can hear people whisper in my head full of critiques. "Is she delusional?"
'Tsk tsks' slip across the ethernet and I cringe thinking, "I can't believe I just sent that out! Yeah, great. Nice to be quoted as the poet who can't spell...or spellcheck!"
I can't believe that my perfectly worded AND SPELLED missive wound up with a glaring word crunch- in red no less-size 20 type!
What is left to do?
Of course. Out goes the follow up e in which I edit the quote, spell the offending word correctly and fix the wordbotch glitch.
And then thank AOL once again for an oops which gave me yet another opportunity to grow in humility, let go of perfection and practice of patience with the wonderfully flawed process of being human...in an electronic age.

Giving and Receiving

by Florence Ondré


I'm grateful for a time when I didn't feel much gratitude at all.
That may sound odd and yet it's true.

Looking back to when times were particularly challenging; seeming like the bottomless pit of despair swallowed me whole, I can see not only how difficult it was to put one foot in front of the other but how the mere basic of breathing was an act of courage.

What I also see is where humility and acceptance of help from others was a large part of the lesson of beingfor me to work through.

In years of days of being ill with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome; so flat-out exhausted from even a whispered thought of putting foot to floor to balance bed encompassment; where holidays were a mere memory of musings from another world beyond aching joints and muscles, swollen glands, constant low grade fevers and inability to speak or act without wishing I had enough energy to scream at the injustice of the ravaging disease, one special day stands out.

When my resources of body, mind, spirit and finances were at lowest ebb; with the holiday a mere day away and no route seen wherein I could have anything for my kids, there came a knock at my door.

Taking my then usual God-knows-how-long to get out of bed, shuffle down the hall and open it, I found no one in sight of the portal. Neither left nor right glances showed anything but a quiet street; deserted of traffic, foot or vehicle.

However, when I tried to open my door for a better look-see, it was stopped mid way by a big box.

I looked into it and there, appearing like magic; staring up at me, was a big turkey, complete with all the fixings for a holiday meal!

Amazing!

Because of the kindess of strangers anonymously acting on their hearts' energy, there would be a holiday for my kids and I that year where there would otherwise have been none.

It is miracle I have never forgotten and still treasure in my heart and mind each year.

Checking in with my boys, now grown with families of their own, we discuss that gift giving which enriched our lives and we all agree what a God-send it was.

We never found out who did that incredibly good deed, yet the threads of that experience are woven in the tapestry of our hearts and memories. We also can still feel the warmth of that unconditional open-heartedness and are grateful there was the kindness of strangers who saw and acted on our behalf; who gave us the sustenance, happiness and gratitude in the holidays.

To those dear ones wherever you are, we sing thank you.

Because of you, we had light in the darkness and to this day, remember the gift which keeps on giving. We find our own ways to follow your example and pay it forward, backwards and sideways where we can. We are grateful to be the ripples from your pebble in our pond and hope what small help we can be in the world will be a bridge for others out of their dark moments into lighter days.

We know there is light not only at the end of the tunnel...it sometimes is in lanterns of generosity along the way.